


Merlin's Return

by aliiohana50



Series: Merlin's Return [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Camelot, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Loss, M/M, Magic, Magic Revealed, Post-Magic Reveal, Sad, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-26 18:15:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21762841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aliiohana50/pseuds/aliiohana50
Summary: This was written to be right after Arthur's death, when he makes his way back to Camelot to see his old friends and his favorite soup.
Series: Merlin's Return [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1568470
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	1. Kilgharrah's Request

**Author's Note:**

> This was written to be right after Arthur's death, when he makes his way back to Camelot to see his old friends and his favorite soup. Maybe this fanfic will provide you with the moments you may have wished happened in the finale before we get hit by that anachronistic bus. Anyway, let me know if you enjoyed reading :)

Kilgharrah's Request

He was numb. After all this time, he thought he was able to defy the prophecy. He was so close. As he turned his back to the lake of Avalon, he replayed the final battle in his mind, over and over again. He analyzed his every mistake, going further and further back in time. Why didn’t I summon Kildarrah sooner? Why didn’t I kill Mordred in Camelot? Why did I forbid magic in Camelot? Why didn’t I let Morgana die when I had the chance? In his heart, he knew these things didn’t matter, it is impossible to change the past, and it won’t bring him back. Arthur was gone. Only the great dragon was there with him.   
“Merlin —,” Kilgharrah started. Merlin held his hand up.   
“No,” He said. Anything the dragon could have said would have been too much to bare. Yet, he recognized how much the dragon had helped him in these past ten years. Tears began to welled in his eyes again “Forgive me Kilgharrah, I was so young, so naive and I know now that if I had listened to you, none of this would have happened. Arthur would have been alive. We could have saved him.” His voice quivered.   
“I have lived for many centuries, I have seen many great men die, some regrettably, by my hand. But none was as noble and as Arthur— and no mortal ever will be. But, never have I met another like you either. You are my kin, in more ways than you will know— in ways that you will soon learn. As my life is at its end take heed to my words: Do not live in the shadows of your regrets. Time will pass, each day more quickly than the last, but do not lose yourself in this infinite cycle. Arthur will return in Albion’s greatest time of need, and you must be there to meet him. Be sure that he is greeted by the Merlin he knew…”.   
Merlin thought back to one of Arthur’s final requests. He vowed he would not change— and yet he has done so much already.   
“I shall make my way to Camelot alone. Thank you, old friend. For all that you have taught me, I hope to see you in the next life”. Kildarrah bowed, outstretching his ancient wings. They both knew that this would be their last encounter in this life.   
“And Merlin” Merlin wheeled around, “Aithusa is still young”. Merlin looked into the Great Dragon’s golden eyes one last time and gave a small nod. Aithusa, the light of the sun, once a symbol for a time of great hope, now a mangled and mute creature responsible for the ending of the greatest era known to man. Soon to be the last of her kind.   
As he turned away, he felt the wind of Kildarrahs departure. His path towards Camelot, and his new and empty life, laid just ahead.


	2. The Hearts of Men

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin reunites with Gaius and Gwen

The Hearts of Men  
Merlin once looked at Camelot as if it were bleeding with opportunity. Now, its stony walls seem like an empty vessel. Its regal crimson tapestries, a painful reminder of what was and what is no longer. He climbed the stairs his feet heavy with the guilt of his greatest failure and through the hallways towards his guardian’s abode. He stood in the doorway as the lump in his throat grew to the point that even his breath cried. Gaius heard him and said nothing. He wasn't sure if his ward would return to Camelot. It had been ten days since he had been last seen.   
“You came back,” he said. At this point, Merlin’s cries became full sobs as he ran into Gaius’s arms, desperate for even the smallest consolation. Even in all his infinite power, he was still just a young man. Gaius’s shoulder quickly became wet with Merlin’s heartbroken tears. They stayed that way for what seemed like an hour, when in reality, neither one could say for sure for how long they were actually there. Finally, Merlin, his eyes completely dried out went to sit down.   
“I couldn’t save him.” Gaius sighed  
“I know” he said quietly.   
“Why did it have to be this way? Why couldn’t everyone have just told me that his fate was impossible to save?”  
“If that had been the case, do you really believe that you still would not have tried to prevent it?”. Gaius was right. He was always right. “Go wash while I prepare your favorite meal. I’ll let the queen know that you have returned”. 

The next morning, Merlin awoke early out of habit. He used to need to be awake before the sun rose, so he could tend to his chores. But Merlin no longer had chores. Never did he think that a day off would be this miserable. He got dressed and went to stroll around the lower town. The air was crisp with the smell of the early summer morning after a storm. The streets were quiet and all the merchant stands were covered in hemp curtains to protect them from the rain. It was quiet only with the occasional sound of an occasional mourning dove or a knock made from one of the villagers’ farm animals. Merlin felt calm, almost happy until he would see something that would remind him of his lost friend. He finally came up to the tavern and chuckled to himself sadly. It was just shy of three weeks ago, when he, Arthur and the knights were gambling. It felt like yesterday, and a century ago all at the same time. How much had Camelot changed in these past weeks. He thought of the knights. Did they all survive? He didn’t know. As the sun rose, so did the hustle and bustle of the town. It was no longer just for Merlin so he returned to run errands for Gaius— anything to fill the void that loss had created. When he was just about ready to leave with his list of patients, a guard arrived at his door.   
“Her Royal Highness has summoned you to court,”. He declared. Gwen. He had hardly thought of her since the battle. Merlin and the guard walked to the throne room where Merlin stood at the doorway. Across the great room, he saw just one chair, when there used to be two. Guinevere was sitting in Arthur’s chair, and wearing Arthur’s crown. She looked so beautiful. Merlin’s throat tightened again when he remembered that she was wearing the crown lawfully. She was the rightful heir to Arthur.   
“Thank God you're here” she said dissolving into tears. Merlin walked closer to her, feeling his own tears on his face. No man had dare hug the queen and yet here they were embracing each other thankful for the others presence but consumed by their shared loss.   
“I did everything that I could” he said in a jagged and devastated sigh.   
“I know you did, Merlin. There is no one that I trusted more with Arthur’s life. You are a true friend, to me… to Arthur…” her words drifted away. The two of them sat together alone on the steps of the throne. It was quiet for a while and the room seemed to echo with every sniffle. Finally, Gwen spoke hesitantly, as if she were choosing each word as carefully as she could. “Did you ever tell him” Merlin looked up at her.   
“What?” Merlin asked.   
“Arthur, did you ever tell him that you were a sorcerer?” Merlin’s stomach heart dropped in his body. Anxiety immediately began to consume him.   
“How.. How did you know?” Merlin asked cautiously.   
“In all my years of knowing you, you have never left Arthur’s side. Then, at the time he needed you most, you mysteriously disappeared. You never would have left him, unless it were essential, and Gaius would not tell me where you went. Then at camp, Arthur awoke and told me that you had appeared to him in a dream and gave him information. It was you who won the battle for Camelot, wasn’t it?”  
Merlin breathing raggedly “It was me, Gwen”. Gwen noticed her friend slightly tense when he answered. She touched his shoulder.   
“No harm will come to you, Merlin. That I can assure you. You saved Arthur, and you saved Camelot. I was not raised fearing magic. It was magic that healed my father, if you remember. It was magic that brought Arthur into this world.”  
“I was the sorcerer that healed your father, I had no idea the consequences it would bring, I am so sorry” Merlin began sobbing with relief.   
“When I was saved by the Dholma, the sorceress, she told us that there is no evil in sorcery only in the hearts of men. And You, Merlin, have the kindest soul. From the moment I met you, I knew your true heart. I’ve always known that your loyalty is unprecedented— I could never condemn an innocent man. I can only honor the sacrifices he has made for the glory of this kingdom”. It felt odd for Merlin, to sit in the throne room, with his deepest secret open for all to see.  
“Thank you for being here,” Merlin said, meaning every word.


End file.
